Clean Your Room
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| Image by; roomstogo.com |
This is a very common injunction among parents, especially for parents of children who did not rank their room-yes yes, it exists. This is an even more common among parents about teenagers ... And sometimes it rots life ... teens and their parents.
I met this afternoon a family, finally, a part of family (mother + daughter) in which many disputes revolve around this "store room". So I ask the question: is it worth the family relationship -in its difficulté- that it sacrifices the storage room?
It's like the mother who told me: Do you realize? Every night, I fight with my children to get in pajamas before dinner / Really? Every evening! / Yes ... / And if you do not let get in pajamas? ... She told me it would not be possible ... it was determined that his children pajamas for dinner .. . I advised him to say nothing, pajamas or not, and two weeks later, she had to tell me that her children ran alone in pajamas, without being told anything.
So the room?
First, understand that the room is the universe of the child. This is his "home", his "to him." Then ask the question: Who What do we ask of our child clean his room? For us or for him? If it is for us itself, so think about why it is asked. If it is for him, I would like to correct a misconception: A messy child will not necessarily make a messy adult. And even!
I am well aware that we want to shape our children as we want to shape them, ie in our image. What we forget, we parents is that our children are as they are, messy or not and we have only weapon that the example that we can give them and responsible consequences their "mess".
We have the right as a parent to make rules ... provided that they are reasonable. And differentiate legitimate educational needs of exaggerated demands. If education rules are dictated by the neurotic ideas of parents, as dropping. When this woman received this afternoon told me that she (and I stress) does not support the chamber of her 15 year old daughter is a "mess" that is his own desire to storage or cleanliness which it talking, no education.
I am here standeth for the children and youth who are subjects, or rather objects, neurotic tendencies of their parents ... After all, what's it to you ... -to to us parents - if our children's room is a mess ...?
This is SA bedroom, HIS universe, and I was going to say the words of him or her ... So do not want too much for your child if he or she does not rank his room ... I'm Certainly if you / let manage her room / and therefore his life ... he / she will be moving ... even to please you ...
What is terrible in these cases of family conflict repeatedly is that they start mostly on Pardon the expression-bullshit. The issue of compliance with the rule is not education, but the conflict, the exercise of power and power-cons. It seems absurd, sad, ugly, and frankly disappointing, as family relationships sum any "normal" are marred by issues that are not educational. Well, I write, I write, but my kid room is a mess ... going to have to me the ranks quickly, otherwise it will break loose.
By; psy blog